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Party with a part of the music industry
I guess it was a nice chance
To make some contacts and
Lots of bands with lots of good clothes and friends
and gosh, all the hair
they had still on their head!
Some things make you feel like you're
lifted up and some things make you feel
like you’re right there on the ground
I wasn’t floating among satellites
I was right there,
with a beer in my hand.
And I felt so much better than anyone,
and I felt so much more unhappy than anyone
and I felt more of a genius than anyone
and I felt so much more like killing myself than anyone
and oh I just went back home.
And I didn’t feel any better when I wrote this on my phone.
Look at us we’re singing in English
but we’re totally Dutch
I’m disgracing myself!
I don’t mind as long as I’m in the sky
but when I’m right/down here
It makes me feel ill!
And I felt so much smarter than anyone
while thinking all these kind of things while they were having fun
while they were being selected, 'act of the year'
while Moon Moon Moon was sitting in the corner drinking his beer,
And oh I just went back
And I didn’t feel any better when I wrote this on my phone.
[weird organ solo traveling through space]
I felt like sabotaging my whole life,
so I didn’t speak! And when I was spoken to...
I spoke with my whole ♥️ and if there’s one thing I know,
if you’re too honest, they will go
I tried hard, I tried hard to be more fun but the pretty girl
serving drinks was killing me!
A white t-shirt, if you hear this, the one with the white t-shirt
please give me a call: o six five four nine seven seven eight nine o
And I felt so much better than anyone
and I felt more unhappy than anyone
And I felt more alone than anyone
and I felt more obsessed with myself than anyone
And oh I just went back home
In my bed, I wrote this down on my phone.
[weird piano searching for his place in the song]
I haven’t been my best self!
With the grumpy faces
And the wishing to rot in hell
I haven’t been my best self!
With the grumpy faces
And the wishing to rot in hell
With my ex gf, ignoring me
And my friends never quite getting me
I’m in a danger, a danger of believing myself
It is what happens when you never talk to anyone else
I’m in a danger, a danger of becoming the man
Standing in the corner hating everything that he can
I haven't been my best self
(Oh, and now I’m in my bed)
(I don’t want to see myself like that ever again)
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2. |
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If you're hearing this, it means that I am dead.
At least in a hundred years if this song still exists by then.
This tune was inspired by a mantra song about some old monkey king.
Our drummer Jari played it for me when he came back from three months in Spain.
Where he lived with other people and a guru and he worked in the burning sun on the land
He learned to meditate he came back more peaceful and more tanned
Anyway last night I was at the Belle and Sebastian show in TivoliVredenburg
And I went with my friend Rens but I lost him when I ran up to the front
I was three feet away from Stuart Murdoch when he started singing Act of the Apostle I
And I was half dancing and I was half gone.
And for more than a good 10 years, I've been falling asleep with every single thing Stuart Murdoch sings and writes.
The VHS of the Black Sessions of 1998 is my dearest possession
and I watch it late at night.
And every single rainy Sunday I sit on the windowsill and read his printed diary.
And my friends went to a Harry Potter school live action role playing game.
And the sister of the girlfriend of my friend went backpacking in Thailand.
One evening in her room when she told us about it I said something clever about the irony of finding yourself in another country while unknowingly wanting to come back as someone else, but I was just jealous.
Anyway, they started playing the song the Boy with the Arab Strap.
Two girls got invited on stage to swing their hips and dance.
And suddenly from all over the place, people ran to the front to get on stage and everyone was allowed to do so. And I froze.
And after every death in the family, in the car back home I put on the cd If You're Feeling Sinister.
And after every single first kiss, I put on my Belle and Sebastian playlist. Walking home in the dark.
Mouthing all the words from "The Stars of Track and Field" to "Judy's Dream of horses"
There was nothing more I wanted than to take a step forward and climb up and dance on that stage.
My whole life was building up to this but in the audience, I stayed.
Heavier and sweatier I felt, thinking: "start walking and stop clapping".
And then the terrible realization that it was not gonna happen.
And the song went on, there were a hundred people packed on stage with beating hearts.
And I had to watch them dance on an upbeat song while my life was falling apart.
Soullessly clapping along and pathetically making myself believe that one day we'll play here too and that I will be the one to dance when we do. Even though we’ve got like no Spotify listeners at all.
And it felt like sitting on the train and not talking to the girl in front of me.
And it felt like not applying to the theater school I wish I'd be in.
And it felt like not raising my hand in class those 20 years even though I knew the answer.
It was B most of the time.
My ex-girlfriend Mariska sent me a message, I said: "I'm at Belle and Sebastian".
It made her think of our time.
We listened to it on vacation to France in the car passing gas stations
I wouldn't want her to see me now.
They started with their encore songs and all the dancing people finally then had to get off.
And after Judy's Dream of Horses, the band left the stage and then the show was over.
Not climbing on stage at the Belle and Sebastian show will haunt my days forever.
While everyone was walking out, I stood there watching the empty stage for a couple of minutes
And then a sick pleasure came from knowing I'd be writing this later back at home.
I don't have to do anything fun, I will write about not doing it in a song.
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3. |
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Saturday night,
I just found out her name is Merel.
Because she got introduced
After she played the loveliest violin solo.
[play: merel_got_introduced.mp3]
[loop: clapping_people.mp3]
And I’m recording sounds from this show so I can use them in my song about her.
And then the drums will kick in and there will be noise from the audience on there.
[play: drums_from_hallomaandag.mp3]
I’m standing next
To a man who’s looking at me.
I think he’s bothered
by me using my phone right now at the Spinvis
concert at Carré in Amsterdam.
I dim my screen but I’ll continue to write. Because there’s something over which I obsess.
This time it’s not myself, or whether I’m getting a cold sore, it is the violinist in her red dress.
I try to look
back at the guy like a real alpha male. >:(
But it’s hard making eye contact after binge-watching female domination porn for 7 days. (maybe don't put this in the song?)
But I don’t care as there is finally something outside of myself I feel strongly about.
I picture scenes in which I take the bullets, get her some snacks and walk back to the couch.
[play: merel_violin_solo_loop.mp3]
[play: erik_is_geniaal.mp3]
A father and son
Stood next to me and the father was clearly a big fan.
But they left their good spot because the boy needed to go to the bathroom and they left hand in hand.
My loneliness is not a result of me being alone it’s those people side by side.
How can I not turn to narcissism if no one else wants to be in my life?
A message popped up.
From my mother “have you forgotten your grandmas birthday?”
I swiped it away, Jesus Christ, don’t they know that I’m writing my genius love songs right now?
I long for such a selfless love I see around me and I see on the tv.
But every time I try to write love songs they end up being only about me.
(Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me)
How can I ever be able to love someone as much as I hate myself?
I would love something to shift the focus on to someone else.
But then why do I keep forgetting to call my grandma who’s in my life?
While I keep falling in love with beautiful violinists who won’t ever be my wife.
I just got back home, it’s 2.30 am.
And I read the things above, that I wrote while I was at the show
A little too dramatic for my taste, but I will sing them anyway when I’ll record this song.
"There’s a lot of narcissism in self-hatred", said David Foster Wallace. And oh how I agree. I mean look at me.
I don’t recall a single moment in my life when I wasn’t comparing myself to the person in front of me or next to me.
And I don’t recall a single moment in my life when I was fully loving someone else because I was too busy envying their easiness in life
or their hairdo, or their job or the looks they got from girls, or the way they looked in pictures or the way they didn’t have face herpes.
Merel, I didn’t mean for this song to get so dark, sorry, but I think it’s important to say:
That we’re all disgusting creatures, but let’s take our lesser qualities and our fears and our secrets, shout them out loud and then just dance to it. (and let's just dance to it)
I FEAR GROUPIES WILL CHOOSE MY BANDMATES OVER ME
I LIKE TALKING ABOUT MYSELF A LITTLE TOO MUCH
SOMETIMES I HATE MY BANDMATES FOR BEING SO GOOD LOOKING
I HAVE AN IRRATIONAL ANGER TOWARDS MY MOM FOR MAKING ME
I CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT LOOKS
SOMETIMES I FEAR BREAKING UP WITH MARISKA WAS A MISTAKE
I FEAR MARISKA AND KATHERINE WERE THE ONLY COOL GIRLS WHO COULD EVER LIKE ME
I HATE GETTING OLDER
I FEAR TURNING OUT LIKE MY PARENTS
I THINK I’M 5% GAY
I FEAR I WILL KILL MYSELF SOMEDAY
I HAVE SENT A DICK PIC TO A GIRL WHO ASKED FOR IT
I FANTASIZE ABOUT KILLING MYSELF TO HURT THE PEOPLE I LOVE
I WANT TO FUCK AN UNINTELLIGENT GIRL
I FEAR PEOPLE THINK I’M A JOKE
I FEAR I’M A DISAPPOINTMENT TO MY SISTER
I HATED ALL THE PEOPLE AT THE SCHOOL REUNION
I WOULD TRADE PLACES WITH TAYLOR SWIFT
I THINK I’M BETTER THAN MOST DUTCH INDIE ARTISTS
I FEAR THAT MY FACEBOOK POSTS WON’T GET ANY LIKES
I FEAR THIS SONG WILL ONLY SURVIVE BECAUSE OF SHOCK VALUE
I FEAR MOON MOON MOON WILL FAIL COMMERCIALLY AND ARTISTICALLY
I CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF MY MUSIC
I FEAR I WANT I WANT IS THE ONLY GOOD ALBUM I’VE EVER MADE
I FEAR MY FOREHEAD IS TOO BIG
I FEAR SPINVIS WILL SUE ME FOR USING RECORDINGS FROM HIS SHOW
I ALWAYS TURN MY HEAD SO ONLY THE LEFT SIDE OF MY FACE IS ON THE PICTURE
I FEAR THIS FADE OUT WILL SEEM LAZY EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT’S THE WAY TO GO FOR THIS SONG
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4. |
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lyrics:
Last week I took 1 milligram of anti-prostate cancer medicine for 6 days in a row.
Propecia prevents the conversion of testosterone to dihydrotestosterone (DHT) in the body.
It shrinks your prostate and maybe your dick but I didn’t care because I was able to keep my hair this way but after 4 days I was walking around like a side effects zombie.
I was watching
Stranger Things
Season 2 when I realized my brain had sort of slowed down. I called Spinach Spaghetti and the other way around.
I paused episode 3, the one where Will is sitting in the car with Bob telling him to face his fears.
Before getting up, oh I clearly remember, I saw my black circled eyes half drugged self-reflection in my MacBook screen and I started laughing a laugh that sounds like a guy who took Propecia because he’s too scared to deal with life in another way and now he felt like death going out to get some groceries.
The Upside Down,
I was there,
Supermarket,
Products for your hair.
Teenage girls,
Normally I’d feel depressed
but this time I just soullessly walked by with a mushy courgette in my hand which sadly made me think of the side effects of this drug I was experiencing.
And I came home, put some soup in a pot and I turned the gas on to warm it up and walked to the living room to watch the remaining 35 minutes of episode 3 in a haze.
And I saw all those actors and I felt so out of place in this world.
It’s a fucking sci-fi tv show Mark, it literally is a world of fiction
And my head was bursting so fucking bad and I threw away the pills in my most dramatic looking way and I went to bed and I wrote that:
I have a hard time accepting genetics.
Because I have a hard time accepting acceptance.
Because I can't tell the difference between giving up and walking away from a fight that you could win but won’t make you any happier if you do.
Maybe defeating a monster, not his throat you should slit.
It’s coming to terms how to live with it.
Grabbing a saddle and ride it into battle to befriend any other ghosts and slimy creatures and what not.
Shadow monster,
Demo-dog,
A voice in your head that says you might not be enough.
Lying in my bed being
so spaced out and out of touch with the real world and myself.
An unknown Dutch lame kind of spin-off of a singer lying drugged on the bed of the hotel.
I put my nightlight on and spent the night watching Youtube videos from guys who read too many self-help books, but seriously I think that they helped me too. (*RSDTyler and MaxDaSilva)
It’s now the 5th day off of that drug, I already feel less like I was hit by a truck, my headache is fading, maybe almost castrating myself with Propecia was the best thing that ever
happened to me in a "growing up" sort of way, let’s change this chord and make this part feel more okay because last night 1:30 at the Halloween party I was ‘just having fun’ for the first time my life and
I wasn’t thinking of girls or my looks, I was wearing the green cloak from Will O’ The Wisp
A blonde girl approached me she was dressed like a zombie and we talked and then she started flirting with me and I looked at my friend like "what is happening”.
I never kissed with strangers at parties and I always looked down on it because I always wanted to try it, and this pretty zombie girl kind of seemed up for it so we joyfully danced and eventually we kissed.
I just finished watching season 2 of Stranger Things, I watched the last episodes with this whole self-acceptance thing. I did not envy the hair of Joe Keery and I didn’t look at Natalia Dyer like I could never get her.
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Sometimes it’s hard not to give in to complete destroying anger towards family and friends.
Two guys in the front of a Mercedes Benz, not giving you the AUX cable. It’s 2 AM and you are
Looking out of the window, put your headphones on, you will listen to old The Smiths’ rare b-side songs.
And you’ll demonize everything. Everything is the worst.
But I’m just a bit cranky because I was scrolling through the Facebook event of this Popronde End-Party we’re playing at and several Radio 3FM DJ’s recorded a video, telling you what bands you should check out that night and they didn’t recommend Moon Moon Moon.
Sometimes it’s hard not to give in to bitterness and sing about the Dutch music industry like it’s a sickness.
Calling out Herman Hofman, Frank van der Lende and actually all of 3FM, “het is een grote ellende!”
And then make a little chorus out of your passionate hate. Listing all the faults in their music taste.
And describe in sick detail how you almost puked all over your phone in the car there in the backseat.
But I’m just tired, and I lack Tinder likes, and I don’t like Amsterdam so late at night, and even though I’m glad we’re going home. With my disappointment later I will have to sit alone.
And then go on and sing a verse of how you would put your head out of the window while you were nearing a tunnel.
Your sick head would be cut off and then right there, a headless you would be sitting there.
Blood gushing on those 3FM DJ videos on your screen, a mixture of blood and puke as the video keeps playing.
And then in the outro, you could conclude that the only way to enjoy 3FM is to lack a head.
But I won’t sing any of those things.
Instead, I’ll realize that those feelings
are caused by me being hurt and alone
and in lack of someone to talk to late at night at home.
Sometimes it’s hard not to despair when you think you’ve changed your whole self but then you’re there
In the back of a car with the heaviest heart and no way you’re gonna answer to any of them.
And it is attracting attention and you wanna die instead of fixing anything you start to write this song.
And like a villain, you get all these dark thoughts:
I’m gonna bring down 3FM
and I’ll kick in the heads of all of my friends
and I’ll feel like the whole world is against me
even though it’s the other way around.
An hour ago I got dropped off at my house and
I walked inside and I fell down on the couch.
There’s a number of things in this world that could get me up from here.
But none of those things are inside of this house.
Oh, how long can this go on, making hateful songs about everything.
And in the end just kind blame self-hatred or whatever and totally win sympathy that way.
Although, I do kind of loathe Radio 3FM. I don’t like their cheap anti-me taste and I don’t their replies to my emails again and again again again
but they’re not my arch enemy.
No, that will always be me. Especially in the dark at 4.30 on the couch with nothing to pick you up and nobody there to empty your heart.
And I should find out what my real problem is,
I miss my grandpa, still, and now I miss my ex.
And lately, I start to feel hopeless because the online yoga course isn’t giving me the results I hoped for.
I meditate all day, but I’ve never been more stressed
I focus on my breathing but I have no breath.
A breathless bitter villain, lol.
Is this my way of turning into an internet troll?
I will be the headless villain spewing puke and blood over everything
and after doing so, he’ll say “I know I know, but I only did it because I want to be loved and I’m weak” Come on, give that guy a hug!
How can you hate a villain that knows his shortcomings and talks about them all the time (all the time) and jokes about it on stage in between playing the songs that are also about those shortcomings?
Well, I know a few bandmates who will probably hate that guy for making this song and destroying any chances of playing on Radio 3FM.
Oh my god am I really that hurt that they didn’t recommend my band? Yes, I am and I’m actually so mad that I want to give a shout out to all the bands that didn’t get recommended by 3FM
that play that night, like PaPa GoNi, GRIM TIM, Okke Punt, Dakota, The Hazzah, The Visual, Bjarke Ramsing, Moon Moon Moon, Batobe, The Irrational Library, Mantra, Pip Blom, Yasmine, Jermain Bridgewater, Jagd, Korfbal, Tony Clifton, Black Acid, Los Paja Brava, Charlie and the lesbians, Fata Boom and Feiertag.
But I hope that they don’t care
As much as I do, I hope they like themselves and sleep next to
someone who comforts them and prevents them from turning into crazy villains after disappointments and sucky nights in Amsterdam.
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6. |
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Sometimes it’s hard not to give in to complete destroying anger towards family and friends.
Two guys in the front of a Mercedes Benz, talking about their future and the raises they get
Looking out of the window, put your headphones on, you will listen to old The Smiths’ rare b-side songs.
And you’ll demonize everything. Everything is the worst.
But I’m just a bit cranky because I saw this video
of Giel Beelen ruining the song Heart of Gold
That Tim Knol was playing on the radio and like a sort of very annoying rat person Giel went after Tim when he left the Veronica Studio
Sometimes it’s hard not to give in to bitterness
and sing about the Dutch music media like it’s a sickness
Giel if you hear this, I hope that you do
Invite us to your studio and we’ll sing this song for you.
We need the gig and the promotional value so kick me in the face and I will totally thank you
For letting us play on your wonderful show
You can do whatever, you can take me home
You can strip me naked and mention the size
You can film and come and spit in my eyes
You can fill my mouth I won’t put up a fight
Because I should be grateful that you invited me to your show tonight
But then something happened
a hero arose
Tim Knol stood up to the final boss
He got his guitar and walked away from the floor
But the lady at the desk disabled the electronic doors
“I got him!" she yelled and then
Giel said "great" and walked up to him and showed no regret
But when Tim called him an idiot, oh I cried
Never had I been so happy in my life
All the jokes about my music and my dreams
And feeling out of place in this music scene
And feeling like an annoyance when the Dutch crowd cannot shut up
Everything came out when Tim finally stood up
Tim if you hear this, I’ve always liked you
I once wrote a ‘krabbel’ on your personal Hyves too.
(Footnote 1: That was a social media platform way back in The Netherlands)
Tim if you hear this, one time we were supposed to be your support at a QuiteQuiet Leiden show
And it was a big thing for us but then you said no because the ticket sales were kind of low
I have to admit I was kind of mad
But I have forgiven you since then
Especially after you stood up against that condescending crap that all of us have to go through
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7. |
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lyrics:
Just a quick intro, Dotan is a Dutch musician who has been accused of having an army of fake fan accounts which he used to create fake stories of, for example, fans with dying brothers and people who’s life he has changed with his music and others would just like and retweet and all that stuff.
I woke up this morning, still half drunk and half bitter when I got a pop up on my phone, a mention on Twitter.
Jasper Willems wrote, “I hope Moon Moon Moon will write a song about the Dotan Story” and so I opened Google
and I read the whole thing on de Volkskrant.nl en hebben jullie die dynamische achtergrond-afbeelding gezien? Geniaal!
As you scrolled down Dotan’s_Face.png it turned into a fake fan account mosaic
I had been waiting for Dotan’s downfall since a few years when he kicked us out of the backstage when we were getting some beers.
“Hey!” he said, “this is only for artists” and our bassist said “we’re Moon Moon Moon, we’re playing at this festival have you heard of us? no? yeah well this is our first show so that actually makes sense.”
It was like he didn’t hear us and he said “get out!” and I said “come on guys let’s go this man is freaking me out”
I’m pathetic enough, you just watch me, so I turned him into my arch-enemy ever since that meeting
and every time he visited De Wereld Draait Door I got so pissed off and threw my fork to the floor
As I had just sent that tv show a homemade comic asking if my band could maybe sometimes be on it.
But instead he was on with his dumb fucking song and his mediocre lyrics and that fucking drum!
Ik schreef die dingen hierboven alleen om te laten zien hoe groot mijn haat was geworden sinds 2014.
Ik haat niet om te haten, alleen om nu in het volgende couplet een punt te maken, dus wacht nog even met boze berichtjes sturen op twitter. Het is trouwens @mewnmewnmewn, dat is apenstaartje, m e w n m e w n m e w n allemaal aan elkaar. Ja, Moon Moon Moon, die naam was dus gewoon al bezet, ja echt.
Now that Dotan’s finally in a shit storm I can’t help but feel so sorry for him
We all want love and it’s hard to find so we will fake it. That is just mankind.
Hot robot girls and VR porn, or a 100 fake accounts, cheering you on.
It still feels good, if only for a while until De Volkskrant comes and rats you out.
Het is ook naar voor die mensen natuurlijk waarvan hun foto’s zijn gebruikt om fake fan accounts te maken, ik bedoel de ene dag ben je gewoon een persoon, de andere dag ben je opeens een Dotan fan. Dat is toch een heel verschil.
Het probleem is, ik kan Dotan niet meer haten want ik zie opeens een deel van mezelf in hem.
Kijk naar mij, ik ben nu een liedje aan het schrijven nadat iemand op twitter zei dat ‘ie hoopte dat ik er een liedje over zou schrijven, en ik doe het ook nog.
En hoe smerig slim zijn deze liedjes qua promotie voor mezelf? Heb je door dat ik elke keer bekende namen noem zoals Spinvis, Giel Beelen, Tim Knol, Belle and Sebastian, Popronde Nederland, 3FM en ik probeer die bekende namen dan in het begin van te titel te verwerken, zodat als je aan het scrollen bent, en je ziet die naam, dat je dan klikt. Zijn dit niet gewoon clickbait liedjes? Vervolgens zit ik op Twitter te refreshen, smachtend naar likes en retweets, dag en nacht.
Maar wat het ook is:
Ik krijg ook veel meer likes op deze liedjes dan op mijn andere liedjes, die qua melodie veel mooier zijn en qua muziek veel beter in elkaar zitten. En toch blijf ik de laatste tijd veel meer van dit soort liedjes maken en ik denk echt dat dat deels is omdat dit gewoon meer likes krijgt.
Het wat nog vreselijker is, door al deze dingen te zeggen en overdreven eerlijk te zijn kunnen jullie het in ieder geval niet meer zeggen dus word ik ook minder snel beoordeeld.
Maar ik denk oprecht dat dat een goede eerste stap is, als we wat eerlijker erover zouden zijn, dan zouden we ook niet met zo’n rare schaamte hoeven te leven, of ongemak, als je je cd weer eens naar Excelsior Recordings stuurt, al die zelfpromotie, of als je je eigen bio aan het schrijven bent voor op websites en naar zalen: “Mark Lohmann bracht zijn eerste cd I Want! I Want! uit in 2014 and werd al gauw opgepikt door websites als 3VOOR12, Licking the Rabbit, zijn melodieën zijn melancholisch en zijn teksten vlijmscherp. De band heeft al gespeeld op Le Guess Who?, Incubate en Here comes the summer festival. Blablabla”
Naja, ik heb vaak geprobeerd iets te schrijven wat dichter bij mezelf ligt, maar programmeurs van zalen en festivals denken dan gewoon van yo wtf is dit, en deze guy heeft niet eens een booker, en dan boeken ze iemand van het Friendly Fire roster of zo en dat snap ik ook wel.
Wouldn’t it be nice if Dotan just said:
“fuck yeah I made those fake accounts without any regrets.
I have to whore myself out like that because I don’t want to work at the Albert Heijn for 3 days in the week like that guy from Moon Moon Moon.
Something’s rotten in the world and I am only trying to stay alive
If someone would change the way this industry works
Maybe I would not have to be a jerk.
Also, I would like to publicly say
I am sorry Mark Lohmann for that fateful day
at Here Comes The Summer 2014
You were totally allowed to be backstage with me”
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8. |
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40 thousand rituals
Satanic and diabolical did not bring us anything
Traded my soul with the old witch
for animal crossing on the switch
But I’ve been tricked
She just gave us a character in Super Smash Bros
I was 16 years old
no friends
no life
my lunch money at school every day went tossing
But when I came home
There was always
Animal Crossing
And new year’s eve
And Christmas eve
and easter morning I would leave them all behind
And I’d walk trough the town
And I’d dig up some fossils or pitfalls
Or go to Tom Nook to buy the new Melon Chair for Alfonso, the alligator who lived near the river.
Sitting with my plate of food
nintendo’s live stream on youtube
and I commented in caps “MY BODY IS READY FOR THE NEW ANIMAL CROSSING”
Then they showed some footage from Mario Party and Pokemon
It looked like fun but I felt my heart grow heavy and I commented “I feel my heart grow heavy”
I was 18 years old
at a campsite
with my girlfriend
Brushing my teeth and she was flossing
we had a hard time connecting
but we shared a love for animal crossing
We played at night in our tent
And the in-game notes she wrote back then
I still have
And I sometimes do read
Even though it’s been a long while since I’ve seen her
But I’m afraid I’ll keep that savegame for the rest of my life
They began to talk about Super Smash Bros for an hour
every single character was described in sick detail and I kept shaking my head and I was banned from the comment section because I sent out too many messages about animal crossing in ALL CAPS
This is what happens when I care too much about something out there
I get crazy and completely desperate
Took off my animal crossing t shirt after the stream
And deleted Animal Crossing Pocket Camp from my phone
And rewatched the video of Chadtronic where he puts Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival in the blender
I have been feeling so alone, disconnected from everyone the last months
But the satanic rituals in the community kept me warm
But before I went to bed
I was reading the E3 Mega Tread
On the animal crossing reddit
Where fans come together to hold hands and comment and
The user /r/Liobam said
“So I just went to EB Games to change my Pokemon pre-order (the ball + game bundle is cheaper) and was chatting with the clerks about Animal Crossing, when they mentioned that a Nintendo rep had been by recently and told them to brace for something big becoming available to pre-order in August. No guarantee that it's AC but at the very least, Direct confirmed?” Who knows, /r/Liobam, who knows..
and someone called @yellow_fr3ak on twitter said
“Guys, if you don't think that Nintendo will release an Animal Crossing game for the Switch soon, you are a fool.” and I didn’t want to be a fool so I believed it.
And so I fell asleep with a sense of peace
and the hope for a 2019 release
Reggie, please
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lyrics:
In case the Melkweg hears this:
I think I broke the toilet paper dispenser machine
in the first stall from the left, I thought it was a good idea
to pull the roll with all my power but then the whole thing collapsed down on me. Let it be known that I’m willing to pay for it if it is truly broken. You can contact us on
moonmoonmoon@mail.com
Oh, it’s been more than a year
since I was at the Popronde Pre-Party drinking a beer
And I was willing to kill myself and everyone there
but tonight at the Melkweg I was happy to be there in the crowd
and the music was loud and I drank my wine from a smuggled plastic ice tea bottle
I thought: "I need to write the ending of this journal entry season here tonight”
I think less often of you
Then I did back then
You should see me now standing here with actual friends and
I think that I can be happy
I believe that people can be happy
And I am planning on spending most my years that way
There was one moment
I was standing all alone against the wall in the hall
and I had left a girl I liked with my attractive mate
so I could stand in the distance and carefully and passionately hate
them for what they were doing to me
I recalled what I read on some online psychology website
I am sabotaging myself because I don’t think I deserve it and there was this one question:
"is there someone still lingering around in your head?” yes, of course, there’s someone lingering around in my head!
and then I hated everyone who passed me by for not trying to talk to me while I was dying
and then I pulled up my hoodie and I was thinking the shameful thought that maybe people will recognize me
as songwriter Mark from Moon Moon Moon and then they’ll think "o my god he suffers just as much
in real life as he does in his songs" and that made me feel weirdly good, but not in the right way
but I continued this stream of thought by telling myself that maybe I was placed on earth
to make art, and not to have friends or lovers, or any fun life experiences
and all of this might have had something to do with the size of the ice tea bottle that I was still drinking wine from
and maybe also with the cheapness and the sweet taste of said wine that I bought from the Albert Heijn earlier that evening
And I felt myself spiraling down as I had been doing for eight journal entries long
They say I should think less about you
and that kind of kills me
But we shouldn’t be hanging around in the past
I think that I need to be happy
I believe that people can be happy
And I am planning on spending most my years that way
I almost ran to the exit
But then I saw the people of the band Donna Blue
And I saw Chris Moorman, Mischa, and everyone
Who had been so nice to us during the last 3 months
And I took off my hoodie and I started mumbling to myself
But I know it’s never to myself, and I never waited for an answer
because I know it will not come and then I said I need to say goodbye to you for once and for all, I need to end this season here tonight.
I think I’m finally seeing
The fucking finale
Roll the credits and please no open endings
I think I’m ready for new characters and sceneries
And postseason discussions on Reddit:
"Who had he been talking to?
Was it a faceless entity, maybe a love he knew?
Who was he singing all night long to?
Under the stars and under the moon?"
When I sang about the Mercedes Benz
and all the fake accounts of Dotan’s fans
Did you think I was funny? Did you think I was a genius?
I think that I might have been trying to make you see that
I put my whole life on display
So you could see that I was not okay
But here I am, and I’m finishing what I started.
And now I’m lying in the living room of Stef on an inflatable mattress
And I am thinking of what good could come the coming time for all of us
And how I no longer can rely on bad feelings to save me from being a 25-year-old
Because maybe I will be an uncle next summer and I need to be there
And how I’m sure I can be happy
I’m pretty sure that people can be happy.
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In this neverending series of journal entries, Mark Lohmann uses tragicomic songs to tell stories of his day to day life.
Sometimes funny, sometimes touching, but always comforting for those who tend to feel uncomfortable in almost every situation.
released November 27, 2017